Please join me as I send last week’s jokes to their final resting place. Laugh crying only please.
Tennessee police this week shut down an illegal strip club that featured a live-sex show involving a pair of 400 pound dancers. One of their regular patrons claimed to be crushed. And he was sad about the club closing too.
Officials in East Hampton, New York have been searching for a large grey cougar that may be an escaped exotic pet. Though if I were looking for a large, grey cougar in East Hampton, I’d just go to the closest place that sells pinot grigio.
Florida police arrested a woman who allegedly attacked her ex-boyfriend with his own prosthetic leg. On why he didn’t change his locks sooner, the man says he is kicking himself. Literally.
On Wednesday owners of Lukoil gas stations in New Jersey and Pennsylvania, who are upset with unfair pricing practices by their parent company, protested by raising their prices for one day to 8 dollars a gallon. The worst part was it gave that one smug guy more reason to talk about his Prius.
A designer has developed a bicycle that is made entirely of cardboard and can carry a person weighing over 450 pounds. Until it rains.
Oh man, it’s that part of the week again. Case of the Mondays? More like case of the FUNdays! Here’s some jokes to start your week off right.
The owner of a Florida motel, who is hoping to save his failing business, is turning it into the area’s first motel for nudists. The motel will accept butt-cash, butt-checks, and butt-cards.
Marine animal experts in California are saying that a lone dolphin that has been seen swimming off the shore for the past five days may be the victim of bullying by other dolphins preventing him from leaving the area. That or he’s hoping to eventually find a cat.
The owner of a Florida motel, who is hoping to save his failing business, is turning it into the area’s first motel for nudists. So I hope he’s prepared to find out what nudists use as a wallet.
Florida police arrested a man after photos were discovered on his phone of him allegedly having sex with his girlfriend’s dog. A fact made worse by his defense that they both look the same from behind.
Police in Pennsylvania are searching for a man who exposed himself to a woman inside the offices of the Association for the Blind. She described his penis as “small” and he described her as “being blind.”
According to documents recovered from Osama Bin Laden’s compound before his death, the Al Qaeda leader was worried that morale in the terrorist organization was fading and he considered changing its name. Bin Laden even had tee shirts printed up that said “Fun Qaeda!”
Tuesday marks the one year anniversary of the death of Osama Bin Laden. So I’d say Osama’s Bin Better…
South Carolina police arrested a woman who went into a pool hall at 3 in the morning and left her baby in the car with her dog for protection. So clearly nobody’s told her about appropriate times to use protection.
If jokes could compete on Top Chef, this would be last chance kitchen. Bon apetit!
Shortly after Newt Gingrich on Tuesday issued a statement urging Santorum’s supporters to visit his website, Gingrich’s site crashed. “Now you know how we feel,” said all of Gingrich’s chairs.
The Miss Universe organization this week agreed to allow a transgendered woman to compete in the pageant. Her talent will be getting people to look at the top half of her swimsuit.
A teacher in Texas has filed a lawsuit against a Christian middle school after she was fired for being pregnant and unmarried. Wait, I thought Christians were cool with women who had babies out of wedlock… (Show pic of Virgin Mary)
A man in Indiana was found passed out on the street with a blood alcohol level of .29, just a month after he was found passed out with a blood alcohol level of .55. So at least he’s trying…