#HireBrianna

My name is Brianna, and I want to do social media for the Foo Fighters.

“Go to the fucking yard sale, buy a fucking guitar, start a band with your fucking friends, get in the garage and fucking suck and work on it until you fucking make great music, and become the biggest band in the world.”

-Dave Grohl

If the Foo Fighters have taught me anything, it’s that if you want something, you have to get off your butt and do something about it. So this is me doing just that.

I got out my computer, wrote a cover song, asked some friends to help me record it, and shot and edited this video.

As one of the biggest rock bands in the world, it’s very possible Foo Fighters already has a social media team in place, but the opportunity to be a part of it would be the best thing ever. I could contribute a whole lot of experience, and am fully aware of the amazing chance to learn from the pros.

For anyone reading this, all of your time, consideration, shares, likes, and retweets are very much appreciated. I know that #HireBrianna can only be successful if a bunch of people join in on the fun, so thanks for helping me make this a thing!

You guys rock.

B

PS…

If you decide to tweet out the video, you could just copy and paste the below tweet:

Hey, @foofighters… It’s time to hire @lil_conqueror! #HireBrianna http://bit.ly/1OMJw7x

ORRRR feel free to write your own, including:

-@foofighters

-#HireBrianna

-the video link (http://bit.ly/1OMJw7x)

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Summer Lovin’

Hey there, fellow conquerors! Here are some things that will surely spice up your summer. They’re already doing a number on mine.

TO EAT:

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BLACKSEED BAGELS

170 ELIZABETH STREET

TO DRINK:

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DEL’S SHANDY / ALLAGASH GINGER

GET THE SHANDY AT PROFESSOR THOM’S AND THE GINGER AT HARLEM PUBLIC

TO READ:

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LUCKY PEACH MAGAZINE

TO SEE:

chef-movie

“CHEF” THE FILM

TO WATCH:

Silicon-Valley-Cast-Logo

“SILICON VALLEY” ON HBO

TO WEAR:

ann taylor

DRESS AVAILABLE AT ANN TAYLOR LOFT

TO LISTEN:

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THE BLACK KEYS “TURN BLUE” / YOUNG THE GIANT “MIND OVER MATTER”

Short Term 12 = Long Term Awesome

The first thing I did when I got my driver’s license was drive to the Castleton Arts movie theatre to see “Kissing Jessica Stein,” and I’ve supported independent film ever since. Movies don’t need budgets big enough to bail out small countries and a year long production schedule to be above and beyond good, and Destin Cretton’s new film “Short Term 12” is proof of that.

Set in a group home for troubled youth, “Short Term 12” tells the stories of Grace (Brie Larson) and Mason (John Gallagher Jr.), a young couple who keep the home running, and care for its young residents. Business is going as usual as it can when working with kids who come from beyond broken homes and occasionally break into frenzied fits while wearing a cape, until Grace finds out she’s unexpectedly pregnant, and a newcomer to the home named Jayden (Kaitlyn Dever) makes the news an even harder pill to swallow. Pun recognized, but not intended.

Jayden brings up unresolved issues in Grace, and the drama evolves from there. I don’t want to give anything away, but it all culminates with a scene involving breaking and entering and a baseball bat that had enough suspense to make me want a whiskey ASAP.  “Short Term 12” gives a realistic view of mental health problems and an environment that is usually overly-dramatized and wrought with inaccuracies. In a post-screening Q&A, John Gallagher Jr. revealed the realism was due to heavy research and shadowing actual group home professionals.

While we’re on the subject of JGJ, his performance as Mason was beyond impressive, and I’m not just saying that as a big fan of his work. (Remember when I wrote about it here and here?) After watching “Short Term 12,” followed by a marathon of “The Newsroom,”  John… Mister Gallagher Jr… or whatever is appropriate for me to call him, got me thinking about acting in a way I never have before. Comparing Mason with Jim Harper isn’t quite like comparing apples and oranges. Both are well-intentioned, self-effacing characters who mask their insecurities with humor, however the subtle differences that JGJ (that’s what I’ll call him) brings to each makes me think that his nuanced approach is possibly way more complex than someone who plays a series of starkly different roles.

But enough of the writer trying to talk about acting… “Short Term 12” is a good investment of time, money, and a solid example of quality independent film. You should probably see it as quickly as possible. And a bonus for those of you still reading… I asked JGJ in the Q&A what he was listening to in a scene where Mason was wearing headphones, and while microphones made it impossible to listen to anything, he was pretending to jam out to The Clash.

 

 

 

 

Where to go for Carbs and Cheese in NYC

Aside from this random heatwave, it’s been the most rainy and gray summer ever. Therefore, a little carb and cheese action is in order. Here are my go to spots in NYC for the day-brightening diet downfalls.

Beechers – 900 Broadway bt 19th & 20th

Seattle is home to many of my favorite things– The EMP Museum, Nirvana, Starbucks, my parents. Therefore,  I’m partial to anything that comes from our northwest neighbors. Beecher’s Handmade Cheese is high on that list. The original Beecher’s is nestled inside the famous Pike Place Market, and it’s New York location might lack that impressive address, but it makes up for it in scenery and quality grub. You can buy various gourmet items in the front of the store, watch the cheese being made while you eat off their super affordable a la carte menu in the back, and have a classic sit down experience downstairs. I usually choose to sit by the cheese making situation to enjoy what is probably the best grilled cheese I’ve ever eaten. Thick bread, super melty homemade cheese, at the bargain rate of $7. If you’re feeling rich, go for adding the tomato soup, which will only cost you $5 more. They also have fancy grilled cheese situations with things like figs, veggies, and meat, that are also delicious, and a killer mac and cheese offering,  but it’s my recommendation to stick with the classics. You won’t be sorry.

 

Professor Thom’s – 219 2nd Ave bt 13th & 14th

You wouldn’t expect an Irish pub-style bar to have the best nachos in NYC, but for me, Professor Thom’s holds that title. Said nachos are delivered on a silver platter the size of a large pizza, and are the perfect accompaniment to Thom’s impressive beer and whiskey selection. It’s possible one could polish off the crazy-generous portion of fresh cheese, vegetables, guac, and chips all by themselves, but I’ve seen groups of ten manly men bested by the challenge. Aside from the nachos, Thom’s is a rock solid bar all around that you should also be going to anyway. Good service, great playlist, private party space, Girls/Mad Men/Lost viewing parties, and reasonable prices are just a few reasons why it’s one of my go to spots. The nachos will draw you in, but everything else about Professor Thom’s will keep you there.

Melt Shop – 55 W 26th St at 6th Ave

Outdoor seating… Perfect Location… Tater tots. SEE HERE

 

Earls Beer and Cheese – 1259 Park Ave at 97th

It’s all in the name… beer and cheese… also beer cheese… but we’ll get to that later. In a relatively tucked away shop on the Upper East Side, lies a menu that spans the globe with cheese as its common denominator. Tacos made of scallion pancakes, brie and blackberry grilled cheese, ginger and sriracha laced tomato soup, and the finest beer cheese outside of the midwest, are just a few of the things you can expect to find at Earl’s. As far as carbs go, they have a rotating beer menu and all the sandwiches and food come with crazy good bread. Some would consider Earl’s limited space a downside, but I feel like it provides the opportunity to get to know the other people there, perhaps by talking about the food, or the wallpaper that looks like a forest. You’ll see what I mean when you get there.

 

Jacob’s Pickles – 509 Amsterdam bt 84th and 85th

While all the chumps out there head to S’mac to fulfill their mac and cheese needs, I like to make my way to Jacob’s Pickles on the upper west side for their $9 version of the American classic. It’s far better than any other mac and cheese in the city, and you can enjoy it while talking to one of the plaid wearing, bearded bartenders about hot sauce and indie rock music.  They have sparkling rose on tap, every random whiskey you’ve ever wanted, and a whole display case for their pickled items… And this exists above 72nd street! In addition to the mac and cheese, their fried pickles are the bomb, I’ve been told their fried chicken is some of the best ever, and their french fries come in an obscenely large sized bowl with little squeeze bottles of ketchup, hot sauce, and honey. They also seem to hit the Black Keys and Jack White Pandora pretty hard, which is obvi a plus.

New Beatles Songs

I know I’m not breaking any new ground by calling out the Beatles as one of the most influential bands in the history of rock and roll. George, John, Paul, and Ringo laid the musical groundwork for many bands to come, writing one of my favorite songs of all time, and creating a trademark sound that undoubtedly inspired some of my other top tunes.

After going on a shuffle marathon through my iTunes library, it occurred to me that a good number of the songs could have come straight off any of the Fab Four’s albums. Here are some of my fav faux-Beatles tracks. Feel free to leave yours in the comments section!

Nirvana – About a Girl

 

Green Day – The Static Age

 

Garbage – Special

 

Foo Fighters – Back and Forth

What to do in NYC this weekend

Wondering what to get into this weekend? Here’s some suggestions running the gamut from costly to free, and brainy to brain-numbing. The one thing they all have in common though is fun. Here’s to making the first weekend of Spring an awesome one! But first things first… Go see Garbage at Terminal 5 tonight. I’ll be there!

-Get your 90’s on at the New Museum

This exhibition that I’ll be visiting ASAP focuses on 1993 and the art that came from that oh so 90’s year.

-Eat at the new Num Pang

One of my fav spots now has a whole sit-down situation on 29th street. I recommend going with a ton of people so you can order as many types of their insanely delicious Vietnemese sammies as possible.

Hunker down in front of the tube for MTV’s Retro Real World Marathon.

Starting tonight, they’ll be playing the first season ever of the show, followed by the Vegas season on Saturday, and the legendary run in San Francisco on Sunday.

-Eat some Korean comfort food at Food Gallery 32

All options are good, but my fav is the Soon Dooboo tofu from the stall in the back left corner. And snack on a $2.50 kimchi bun from the front while you choose what to get.

soon tofu

-Check out Brandi Carlisle at Beacon Theatre

Pricey, but worth it.

-Take a dance fitness class at M Dance & Fitness

Pretend you’re in Slumdog Millionaire, Save the Last Dance, and the salsa scene of Center Stage all under one roof!

-Check out the Studio Museum of Harlem and it’s amazing flag

Bonus: There’s a GAP Outlet next door!

harlem flag

-Learn about condoms

Head on over to the Museum of Sex for what’s sure to be an eyeful… Of information… Don’t be gross.

-THEN head to Birch Coffee

Some of the most delicious brew you’ll ever drink plus your choice of boardgames are sure to bring things back down to PG.

-Get a cocktail at Murray Hill speakeasy, Middle Branch.

The drinks are spendy, but worth it! Feeling risky? Go with the Bartender’s Choice!

HAPPY WEEKEND-ING!

Where jokes go to die

As the news cycle keeps spinning, it’s important to look back and pay homage to jokes that have passed. Grab a black veil, cut some eye holes in it, and get your reading on. I apologize if your co-workers look at you weird for laughing and wearing a weird veil.

 ***

Julia Pastrana, who lived in the 1800s and was dubbed “the ugliest woman in the world,” was finally buried this week in her native Mexico. And time hasn’t done her any favors.

A pastor is demanding that Tennessee wildlife officials return five venomous snakes they confiscated from him, saying that he uses them as part of his services. Prompting Mormons, Jehova’s Witnesses, and Scientologists to respond in unison, “Oh and we’re the weird ones?”

In an effort to save the endangered cheetah, some zoos are pairing up cheetah cubs with puppies to help teach the cats how to thrive while in captivity and make the internet explode.

TSA officials this week forced Kanye West and Kim Kardashian to be rescreened by security after a star-struck staff member at Kennedy Airport allowed them to bypass a security check point delaying the flight for an hour, which was spent going through all the junk in Kim’s trunk.

Florida police arrested a woman who broke into her ex-fiancé’s house and attacked his new girlfriend in bed. The man was shocked because he expected something different from his first threesome.

It was announced this week that two of the Great Lakes, Lake Huron and Lake Michigan, have reached their lowest levels ever recorded. The lakes are reportedly so low they’re watching Bravo’s “Vanderpump Rules.”

A couple in Connecticut that has been married for 80 years has been named the “longest married couple” in the US. When hearing the news, the wife was so excited she walked all the way to the basement to tell her husband.

An Oregon man has filed a lawsuit against an IRS agent claiming that he was coerced into having sex with her after she said she could help him avoid a penalty on his taxes. She claimed to be able to fix his problems with just one small deposit.

Ryan Gosling revealed this week that in the early 1990s he had a chance to be a part of the Backstreet Boys, but declined because he thought they would never be a success. “Who is laughing now?” Asked Backstreet Boy AJ McLean as he served hot dogs at the mall.

Security officials at Chicago’s O’Hare Airport were shocked to discover a mysterious package containing 18 severed human heads, which turned out to be misplaced medical samples. The discovery helped make strides in Chicago’s goal of becoming the new Florida.

The best movies that almost came out in 2012

You may remember how not too long ago I used my crazy amount of blog-related industry access to share the best albums of 2012 that never made it past the cutting room floor. And if you don’t remember, I’m hurt cause I thought we had something really strong between us. Since that post, my baller ante has totes gone up. I saw Zoe Saldana on the street, got to read the whole Justin Carney/Bieber battle on Twitter, and was invited by HBO to watch the Beyonce doc in the privacy of my own home. All I had to do was pay my $120 Time Warner bill first.

That said, the Oscars are coming up, which means it’s time again for me to share the Little Conqueror wealth. Here now for you are the films that with a little more industry support could have been up for best picture, if they had only made like Frank Ocean and came out.

 

BIG BIRD AND THE MICRO UNIT

"Can you tell me how to get to a new apartment?"

“Can you tell me how to get to a new apartment?”

TRACY MORGAN’S DOWNTON ABBEY: THE MOVIE

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WHITE PEOPLE MAKING OUT

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AVATAR II

A heroic journey to the distant planet Brooklyn

A heroic journey to the distant planet Brooklyn