The best movies that almost came out in 2012

You may remember how not too long ago I used my crazy amount of blog-related industry access to share the best albums of 2012 that never made it past the cutting room floor. And if you don’t remember, I’m hurt cause I thought we had something really strong between us. Since that post, my baller ante has totes gone up. I saw Zoe Saldana on the street, got to read the whole Justin Carney/Bieber battle on Twitter, and was invited by HBO to watch the Beyonce doc in the privacy of my own home. All I had to do was pay my $120 Time Warner bill first.

That said, the Oscars are coming up, which means it’s time again for me to share the Little Conqueror wealth. Here now for you are the films that with a little more industry support could have been up for best picture, if they had only made like Frank Ocean and came out.

 

BIG BIRD AND THE MICRO UNIT

"Can you tell me how to get to a new apartment?"

“Can you tell me how to get to a new apartment?”

TRACY MORGAN’S DOWNTON ABBEY: THE MOVIE

Screen shot 2013-02-18 at 5.38.26 PM

WHITE PEOPLE MAKING OUT

Screen shot 2013-02-18 at 5.42.13 PM

AVATAR II

A heroic journey to the distant planet Brooklyn

A heroic journey to the distant planet Brooklyn

My Tina Fey story

Dudes. I can’t believe the last ever episode of 30 Rock airs tonight. It is a show close to my heart, and has been such a big part of my life both personally and professionally. My biggest congrats to the entire cast and crew on SEVEN incredible seasons!!!

As a former NBC page and a servant to the peacock ever since, I have had a lot of experiences that left me questioning how reality works. There’s the time I watched Julia Louis Dreyfus order Conan to help her pick out shoes for her appearance on his show, the time Boyz II Men rehearsed Motown Philly 3 feet in front of my face at Fallon, and the time Bill Murray kidnapped me inside his leather jacket and wouldn’t let me go until the stage manager called him to set. But none of those moments will EVER top my Tina Fey story.

The page class of 2008 was a quirky bunch. We all dreamed of working at SNL/Conan/Fallon/30 Rock, and made funny videos in the little time off that we had. So naturally, we planned a party for the season premiere of 30 Rock. At the time, I was the page on Conan, and the day before the party/premiere, Tina made an appearance on the show.

Part of my responsibilities as page was to escort guests in and out of the building, and as I stood next to Tina (one of my heroes I might add), I gathered all my courage and the spirit of all my page friends to make the following convo happen:

BRIANNA

Hey Tina, us pages are having a 30 Rock at 30 Rock party to watch the show together tomorrow. We’re very excited!

TINA FEY

That’s great!

BRIANNA (awkward)

And of course we’re going to all leave our TV’s on at home and DVR it…

TINA FEY (laughs… can you believe it?!)

And watch within 24 hours!

BRIANNA

Of course!

TINA FEY

Where’s the party?

BRIANNA

Here at 30 Rock… In the page office.

TINA FEY

Cool.

Soooooo, fast forward to the next night, and this shows up:

TINA

Tina took time out of her schedule on her premiere day to send us all cupcakes, and all cause some page happened to mention something in a 30 second elevator ride. Now if that isn’t a sign of an incredible human, I don’t know what is. Tina gave me and my fellow pages one of the best gifts you can give. Cake. But also, kindness. She made our life with that gesture, and I venture to say it was one of the top page program moments for all of us. She also gave us the gift of the show 30 Rock, which will go down in history as one of the best comedies of all time.

Thank you, Tina.

Now, here is another highlight of my time as a page… The time Brian Stack (a regular guest-star of 30 Rock) and I hung out while he was dressed as Frankenstein Sarah Palin. AKA the second best Palin impression out there. Sorry Julianne Moore.

PAGE

Like my uniform?

Eff yeah, television!

2013 has so far brought me a crazy-ass allergy attack, an all senses-numbing cold, and the stomach flu. Also, somewhere in there I threw out my back while blowing my nose. Sexy, right? Luckily my time under resulted in some major sweet abs and the watching of way too much television. And because I love you all so much, here for you now are some of the gems I found while I was laid up, curled up, and not fit for public viewing.

WARPED ROADIES (Fuse)

Warped Tour! Roadies! Behind the scenes action! All these things were promised in the millions of subway ads for Warped Roadies, and that is exactly what this kick ass Fuse reality show delivers.Viewers get to follow the crew that makes the punk rock summer institution possible and each episode covers a stop on their journey. Between the crazy storm in Toronto and the deathly heat in Vegas, this rag tag group of roadies have to fight tooth and nail to bring their emo kid audience together, while battling demons of their own. Each crew member has a checkered past that only enhances your desire for them to succeed. Also, the inside look into what it takes to make Warped Tour happen is beyond interesting. Little things like managing credentials, coordinating buses, and call times are like candy for my young producer brain. That said, I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a spin off show all about stage manager Kenny, as I think his Warped Roadie experience is probs the most interesting of them all.

 

Vanderpump Rules (Bravo)

The fact that I love this show makes me worried on a deep psychiatric level. I don’t watch Housewives, I don’t know who Miss Vanderpump is, and I’m not fully convinced that any of the characters on the show worked at her restaurant Sur before filming. All that said, I was drawn into every single story line right out of the gate. There are no good guys on Vanderpump Rules, an hour-long “reality” show about a group of Maxim/GQ level hotties who spend their time working for a British lady at a Los Angeles restaurant, dating each other, and fighting when the dating doesn’t go well. It’s basically a real-life, almost R-rated version of mean girls, with Queen Bee Stassi as Regina George and Sur new-comer Scheana as Kady. Between the sequins they wear, everyone’s giant eyes, and the copious cutaways of technicolor cocktails, I wouldn’t be surprised if my infatuation with Vanderpump Rules is a result of visual hypnosis… Or maybe it just feels good to see how “the other side” lives. Either way, I’m going to keep watching.

 

GIRLS (HBO)

This one will surely be met by a collective DUH by all of you lovely readers, however I know that the reactions to this HBO comedy are very mixed. My reactions though, couldn’t be more steadfastly positive. This show is so well-written that they have conservative, Ann Taylor-wearing Marni carry a Blackberry. Every. Last. Detail. Is thought out and executed in the best way possible. I watch each episode twice just to catch them all. Hannah and co. are coming of age in a really authentic way full of bad choices, and I love how you spend a lot of time yelling “really” at the tv and being disappointed in them. That level of investment is a sign of good writing/acting/directing/producing/and every last part of Girls.  Based on the guest stars alone… Donald Glover, Miriam Tolan, John Glaser, et al, you can tell Lena has a respect for the comedy world that makes it realistic to assume she probably went to her fair share of 9:30 Asssscats. Probably getting in line at 6pm to do so. This respect makes Girls great, and she is only adding to the canon of what future Lena Dunhams will be watching.

In the end, I feel we are in a golden tv resurgence right now. There are SO MANY great shows, and I’ve never had so much to keep up with. Favs include 30 Rock, Mindy Project, New Normal, Top Chef, and New Girl, but it seems across the board, everyone’s bringing their A-Game. And hopefully, my health will follow suit.

Stuff I’ve Made

photo (1)

The moral of this post is that dreams come true. Growing up all I ever wanted was to work for MTV. Twenty-eight years later, that is exactly what I’m doing. Check out my first efforts as a producer in the clip below. I got to cover country singer Hunter Hayes and rappers Macklemore & Ryan Lewis. Fun fact: I go to the thrift stores featured in Mack and Ryan’s video every time I visit my parents in Seattle. Enjoy!

10 on Top- Episode 406