I only have a month left of my twenties, and I spent the last ten years with the secret goal to not be fat for these pivotal years. Every time I saw a lucky penny or blew out my birthday candles, that is what I wished for, and the only reason I never told anyone about this is because I failed.

I spent a lot of time being insecure about life instead of living it, but for whatever reason that started changing about two years ago. Something clicked, and I was finally able to start making healthy decisions that equaled fitting into pants at H&M. I documented the process in my tongue in cheek “Skinny Girl Problems” posts, however since writing that last one, I kind of, sort of got fat again. But then I got small again, and here are the three rules that helped me find my inner Beyonce.

I Want to Wake Up Like Dis

1) Decide to.

I decided to switch out sandwiches for salad. I decided to haul my ass to the gym most nights and get myself to the 9am spin class every Saturday. I decided to cut back on alcohol and all the late night eating it brings, and I decided to start making choices that I knew wouldn’t leave me feeling guilty. Then, rule number two helped me stick to these decisions.

2) Have a kick ass support system.

There was the time I had to text Emily and Ariele for help during a work meeting catered by Buffalo Wild Wings, all the progress photos Stickles and I share with each other, my boy Jon Best at work holding me to my gym regimen and my recent #NoSweetsForThreeWeeks goal, Staci-Lyn for being the kind of best friend who always lets me talk about my weight loss and keeps me on track, and all you good people who were down to get juice or sit in the park, instead meeting up for a drink, dinner, or all the ice cream ever.

Rule three has proven to be the hardest of them all, which of course means it’s the most important.

3) Keep calm and don’t lose your shit when you go off track.

I’m not even close to being perfect, and sometimes when I lose all sense of control and eat enough pizza and french fries to put me in the running to be the next Kobayashi, I am so blinded by my missteps that I can’t picture myself getting back in the zone. Or the times when work, travel, sickness, or other variables have kept me away from the gym, and immediately have me mentally preparing to be my former chubster self, who wears shorts under skirts.

In the past, these instances have been the kryptonite to my progress, and the game changer for long time success was being able to accept my moments of weakness, and move on from them quickly so I can get back to business. In the simplest terms, it took me a minute to realize that if I took an hour, day, or even week off, I wouldn’t immediately gain all the weight back. Pretty obvious, but also good to know.

In total, I don’t know the exact number of how much weight I’ve lost, and I’m not sure I want to. I’d rather focus on what I’ve gained; confidence, a general feeling of health, strength, and the ability to wear this dress. Here’s to starting my thirties accomplishing what I wasn’t able to do for the last ten years.

BRIYONCE