I leave first thing in the morning for my ten year high school reunion. This is a source of massive introspection and looking both back and forward too see if I have gotten or am on my way to getting the things I want done.
Luckily, I have always been a writer. Intense self-documentation on my life exists from the time I wrote about flying to Israel in kindergarden, to some DEEP middle school poetry, and finally to the blog entry you’re reading right now. I hate packing, so as means of procrastination, I perused my journal from senior year of high school. It only seemed fitting. There was some really silly stuff in there and that doesn’t even take into account the EPIC amount of Buffy fan fiction.
I couldn’t help but share the two passages below. Both for my own sake, and for anyone out there who needs a little inspiration in their lives. It’s cheesy, but I have always thought it is important to dream very big. And that if you commit to those dreams, believe in them, and work really hard, there is no reason they won’t come true. The entries I’m sharing with you are proof of that, and, newly re-discovered, will keep me working that much harder.
Both were written in the Spring of 2002. Please forgive my self-indulgence.
“I will run away when it is time. I will go to New York and live in Manhattan. Life will be great. Since I will be in New York, I could work at MTV. Then, my future will fall into place according to plan. This is all speculation of course. There is only a small chance of this happening.”
“I often daydream about my future. I want to be the next Kurt Loder on MTV. That is the perfect job, and it will be awesome when I have it. I will meet all of my idols, and marry Seth Green. Life will be a bowl of cherries. Every day, I’ll wake up excited and ready to go to work. My job won’t be boring or a drag. It won’t be real work, and that is what’s most important. I wonder what life will be like then? Hopefully, it will contain happiness and love. That will be the day my life is complete.”
I’m writing this entry in the kitchen of my Manhattan apartment in New York City. I just got home from work at MTV, and a couple years ago, I got to hang out with Seth Green. The Kurt Loder position might not exist anymore, but happiness and love will never go away. And they better not, because having them in my life is the accomplishment I’m most proud of.
Oh, and here’s a picture of me at Buffy’s high school. The other accomplishment I’m most proud of…