Barack the Vampire Slayer

Anyone who knows me knows my longest serious relationship has been with the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer. BTVS and I have been going steady since 1997, and are still hanging on. As of late I’ve been re-watching the series for the umpteenth time, and in light of last week’s election, I noticed something. Our president Mr. Barack the Obama, who is known as a cutting edge leader with a unique style of president-ing isn’t so hip afterall. His strategy can be traced back to someone who has been around in TV form and in my heart for over 15 years. Everything Bama has done so far was done first by Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

1) You’re only as powerful as the people you hang out with.

Buffy was set up with a group of friends (aka the Scooby Gang) in episode one of the series. Even though her friends weren’t slayers, each member of the Scoobies had a special power, and an over-arching theme of the Buffy-Verse was that she couldn’t do her job without them. Willow was a witch, Giles was an encyclopedia of supernatural knowledge, Oz was a werewolf, and Xander with his ginormous heart was the glue that held the whole operation together. Anytime Buffy was separated from her people, chaos ensued, and I’d  venture to say the same about Obama and his posse.

Listen to any speech the big cheese gives and he thanks his wife Michelle, his two daughters, and his buddy/VP Joe Biden who also happen to be big cheeses in their own right a la BTVS. I truly believe that Obama couldn’t be as effective as he is without this rock solid support system. They’re his source of strength, confidence, and love, but also bad asses in their own right. Is it okay to call Sasha and Malia bad asses? I hope so. And for the true Buffy nerds reading this, Biden is totes a Xander.

2) Kill the big bad

With each new season of Buffy came a big bad that over time got more and more powerful. Between The Master, The Mayor, Spike, Adam, Glory, The First, etc. our leading lady always had her hands full of people trying to destroy the world or just plain kill her. Cool thing, she always beat them. Kind of like how Obama beat the big bad behind one of the worst things to happen to America ever. And I’m not talking about the Kardashians.

3) Be attractive

It goes without saying that Buffy is a hot chick. Looking good was never something she had to worry about, even when covered in demon slime or post-drowning. Boys liked her and she dated quite a few who weren’t so visually unappealing themselves. She used this to her advantage when going undercover, using herself as bait, or for the sheer surprise factor of showing a big-ass demon she wasn’t just some pretty little girl. Similarly, our president is one handsome mofo and I venture to say he wouldn’t have gone as far as he has if he had a third ear, a droopy lip, or a ton of misplaced facial hair. He makes our country look good by association and has the kind of face that makes people want to listen and take action… or at least stare at and ogle.

4) Know when to turn it off

Buffy goes to the Bronze… Obama does this:

Sometimes girls and presidents just want to have fun.

5) Don’t let the haters get you down

Lastly, at any given moment about a million demony-non-people wanted Buffy dead. She lived with the knowledge that the whole underworld was against her and the mean girl clique at Sunnydale High School were even less forgiving. But she didn’t let this affect her. She stuck to her guns, kept her attention to her Scooby friends, and kept doing whatever necessary to get the job done. Sound familiar? It should… Obama just came off a campaign full of unforgiving opponents and their even less forgiving supporters. The things said and done towards our main mister could break even the strongest of people, but he keeps his chin held high. He seems to  know that a good chunk of the nation looks to him for inspiration and has yet to react to any of this negative attention in a way that would betray that. He knows haters gonna hate but like Buffy, thinks of that as their problem.

***

I could keep going, but the bottom line is if Buffy and our president ever went to get a beer, I’d definitely want to be there. I want to hear them trade battle stories and mooch off Buffy’s advice on how to deal. I really wouldn’t be surprised if in the most secret of secret rooms in the White House lives all seven seasons of BTVS on DVD as every move Bama makes is one Buffy’s done before. Only difference I can think of so far is that he doesn’t have a robot doppleganger that occasionally stands in for him… At least so far. Luckily, he still has four more years.

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