Another week, another set of deceased jokes… Borrow some duds from Lady Gaga and get your read on! Also, shout out to my friend Hobo Pete… Couldn’t have done it without ya!

The latest trend for children’s birthday parties in Florida is to swim with baby alligators in a pool. The other trend is nobody going to your birthday party.

In order to win a one dollar bet, a New York City teenager licked an entire handrail at the entrance to a subway station. Or as Hobo Pete calls it, lunch.

Participants at the State Fair of Texas this week set a new Guinness record by building the world’s biggest Frito pie, weighing over 1300 pounds. They then set a record for most broken port-o-potties.

A new study suggests that as the temperature of the oceans rise, the maximum body weight of fish could shrink by as much as 20 percent. In response, The Colonel has preemptively warned Long John Silver to stay off his turf.

Veterinarians are saying they have seen a rise in the number of incidents of dogs being stoned in places where medical marijuana is legal. Finally good news for the makers of Snausages!

For the 4th year in a row the number of births in the US has fallen, which experts blame on the recession and the cancellation of “Teen Mom.”

Fifth Avenue in New York City this week was named one of the “Great Places in America.” But if you plan on visiting, be prepared for Hobo Pete yelling at you to get off his lawn.