So I’m a fan of HBO’s “Girls.” There, I said it. A lot of controversy is swirling around this half hour of television, and while I understand why that’s the case, I’ve chosen not to get involved in it. Until now.
There are a lot of really great critiques of “Girls” floating around that comment on its racial implications, the fairness of it being a show at all, and the fluctuating size of Lena Dunham’s behind. I don’t want to talk about any of that. What I do want to talk about is the character Adam, Hannah’s boyfriend. (Spoiler alert?)
Adam has made me think a lot about dating and the second tier position us ladies are put in when doing so. Guys are the prize. They can let themselves go in appearance and attitude, while we slave away to be the best versions of ourselves 24/7 so that they’ll find us attractive.
Sure, neck down Adam is admittedly quite hot, but that six pack comes with a person attached to it. A person who is off-putting, dirty, unemployed, mildly-abusive, non-committal, weird, and just all around not the best. And yet, Hannah spent three quarters of the season trying to go out with him. And sadly, I can relate. As I’m sure all the women reading this can also.
I’ve dated a lot of duds. Duds who I thought at the time were Ryan Gosling defined, despite glaring, obvious red flags as to why we’d never make out soaking wet in a rowboat. Why did I think this? Because they liked me back. The simple fact of a guy liking you has a magical ability to trump a fast food diet, lack of funds, or thinking a strip club is an appropriate place for a date. Cause if he thinks you look cute eating a Big Mac that he made you pay for, does it even matter?
I’m finally old enough to realize it does. Guys and girls alike deserve to be involved with people who don’t require concessions. And for once, I’m not talking about food. You should be with someone who challenges and excites you in every way where you don’t have to look past much of anything. And most importantly, they should be equally challenged and excited by you.
I realize Hannah has bigger fish to fry, but I feel like she is using her relationship with Adam as an excuse to stay away from the fryer. She doesn’t seem to be super concerned about getting a job, or not being able to pay rent, or her crumbling friendships because she has a boyfriend. A boyfriend who she seems more perplexed by than pleased. And she feels good about her life cause she has him. What I wonder, though, is what would she have if she had someone better?
What would we all have?