I write jokes. Here are some recent ones:

A drunken Ohio woman, who refused to stop slow-dancing with a groom at his wedding, was arrested after she started a fight when the bride tried to separate them. So she’ll always be the woman who drinks too much and gets arrested… and never the bride.

A Washington State man this week almost lost his tickets to the Masters golf tournament after his dog ate them. Tournament officials said they’d still accept the tickets even though there was a hole in one.

New York officials this week unveiled the first next generation taxi cab that will feature more leg room, lighted floors, and an intercom to speak with the driver. Which will make it easier to ask, “Why won’t you take me to Brooklyn?”